What's the next step in recovery? How about trying to stay patient? We all know that I don't have much patience....I think I've used what I do have up.... So I guess I just have to reach deeper and deeper and find some more. It's getting harder and harder to find though. So I try to focus on other things and not when things are returning or not returning to full feeling/ability.
It just seems that when things start to become incredibly frustrating to me, things happen to everyone around me and I need to be the strong one for them. Then I'm not focused on what isn't working the way I want it to. But it reaches a point that I can't support others and still deal with my own issues...
Everything has been absolutely crazy at work the last few weeks and I don't think it's going to get much prettier in the weeks ahead. I've been remarkably calm and dealing with everything way better than even I expected. It's time to pull together and make it work. Make everything work. Keep the ship afloat and heads above water. At least I've been that way at work. When I go home, it's a little different story. However, I'm not stressed over it, just exhausted.
Utterly Exhausted. Like tired enough I can't keep my eyes open driving home at 4 or 4:30 in the afternoon. Needing a nap every day. Feeling sick for 3 weeks. Throat just stopped hurting and it starts all over again. frustrating to say the least. Guess I get to go to the doctor again....getting tired of going to doctor's office. No answers. Continued Fatigue. Keep on trucking.
I just want to find normal and if normal means I take a freaking nap everyday, then I guess I need to figure out how to do that....Just doesn't feel like that should be normal. Just doesn't feel right. How much is stress related....? How much is my body doesn't handle stress the way it used to? I used to thrive on stress for months on end....now a couple weeks and my body is revolting.
New nerve pain....holy cow have I been lucky without even realizing how lucky! This was my first real bout of nerve pain and it came out of the blue with no warning and no clue as to what triggered it. All of a sudden my right toes felt like they had been crushed by something and had needles shooting through them from the top down. Miserable feeling. Couldn't get my toes to straighten or the shooting needles to stop. Oh wait, did I mention this was in the middle of me teaching? So I continue teaching....and take my show off....and my sock off....and press my toes into the cold metal bar on the bottom of the chair next to me. Helped but not enough. Sent a kid for an ice pak...when they came back I put it on my toes and had the kid sitting next to me put pressure on it with her foot. We kept on working and it relieved the worst of the pain. Quick thinking for what relief I could get :) Crossing fingers that this doesn't continue. It was needles on and off throughout the afternoon. I would have gone crazy if I had been dealing with this kind of pain all the way through this, I'm incredibly lucky and it's days like today that I realize just how lucky I am. Yes I'm exhausted, miserable with my throat hurting again, two days of nausea and a full day of the shakes....but I'm lucky because today's nerve pain was short lived. And my doctor and my PT responded and dealt with me :)
No comments:
Post a Comment