the never ending merry-go-round

Remember being a kid and riding on the merry-go-round on the playground?  The ones where you would run around pushing and then jump on for the ride?  That's what life feels like right now.  That's what healing feels like right now.  Symptoms come and go and come and go and come and go.  Never-ending cycle of symptoms.  Nerves are lovely things.  When they work.  When they work the way they are supposed to. Healing nerves don't work the way they are supposed to.  Healing nerves don't have a road map to follow.  Healing nerves are going to be the absolute end of me.  They've used up all my patience, they've begun to hit the annoying point that drives me batty.  (I know, not a far trip, but still)

The first goofy nerve issue was the constant feeling of something stuck under my toenails.  You know, you might get your sock caught on a toenail that had broken and it was rough?  So you take your sock off and fix it.  Well....After trying to take a sock off that I wasn't even wearing....Yup...nerve fun.

Then came the feeling of my sock being bunched up under the ball of my foot.  or there was something in my sock making a lump, under the ball of my foot.  Either way, Not much fun!  No matter how many times I try to straighten my sock, nothing gets rid of the feeling.  :(  Frustrating.  Then came the happy day that it stopped bugging me.  I think I grinned all day.  

Guess what came back after a few weeks?  Yup...feels like something under my foot again.  and it lasted a couple of weeks and FINALLY went away!  until now...guess what's back again....yup that annoying feeling of something under my foot...all the time....it is better when I'm barefoot.  But as much as I might want to...I can't live my life barefoot.  I have to wear shoes to work.  I have to wear shoes to go out.  I'm not willing to stay home and not do things so I just have to deal!  But my patience with it is about gone.  Luckily it's not painful....it's not shooting needles up my leg... it's just super stinking annoying.

So as this cycles around and around and around and I can't seem to get off the merry-go-round, I ask the question of does nerve healing go in cycles.  I think the people I ask think I'm crazy.  I got one answer of perhaps.  I got one answer of it could, but not normally.  It's on my list to ask the surgeon at my next appointment.  However, I'm guessing it's not normal and that would be why I'm dealing with it :)  Nothing about this has been normal and with my luck....nothing will ever be normal again!