I have found that inspiration can come in the strangest ways and be found in the oddest places. It doesn't matter where I am or what I am doing, I am finding myself to be inspired lately and only when I need it the most.
When I started PT at the new place, the first trip to PT after being released from the hospital, I saw a student that just inspired me and it's stuck with me throughout all this time. This student was a high school kid and he had lost part of his leg. I never met him so I have no clue what his story was, but I saw him walk on his new leg for the first time. He was so proud of being able to walk, yes he had a walker, yes he needed a wheelchair most of the time but he was walking on his two feet and had the best smile I had seen. To see a high school who had obviously been through a lot medically, physically and not to mention mentally to be making that kind of progress and growth just inspired me to work my hardest in therapy and to keep my attitude up.
Being back at my Box (crossfit Gym) has been wonderful. I have seen many people push through workouts, work hard and be proud of themselves. However, one particular situation stands out to me and inspires me. It was a birthday workout, (for those that don't know....it means crazy hard and lots of work). Going into the workout we knew it would be tough. We knew it was going to be crazy. But for one, he was dreading it. double unders. a million box jumps. etc etc etc. As he worked through the workout, he never once gave up. He wanted to. He took breaks as needed. I wasn't sure he'd make it through. Gets to the point he can only do one rep at a time. The time cap is coming and he still pushes through. Finished the bulk of the workout, only the cashout is left. More dreaded double unders. (double unders are his nemesis at the gym). Knowing how hard they are for him, how tired he is, he still pushes through. Continues to jump. Continues to persevere. Most of us thought he'd time out. The last few seconds, he drops his rope. The coach looks at him incredulously. Are you done? with a big grin, yes. To see that work ethic, the continued push, the constant drive through pain and discomfort. That was the inspiration I needed to see. Even though I'd be late the rest of the day, I had to see if he would make it. I had to see him finish. He did it. He never gave up. He pushed through pain, the frustration, the negativity of thinking I can't do these. He showed me how to keep going no matter how bad it gets.
Watching the lightbulb go on for one of my kids. A student who's had difficulty with seemingly easy tasks. A student who's had a rough time at home these last few months. Just the attention of one on one time reading with her teacher has picked up so many skills and strategies. Lightbulbs continue to go on for her and it's been so inspiring to see what things she can do now.
Watching a friend make a lifealtering decision that not only affects her but all those around her. Knowing that a major change was coming and making the choice for family first. Making the choice for her father, for her son, for herself. Knowing how hard a decision that was, I am inspired that family first. There are days that can't be gotten back. There are memories that would not have been made. Hopefully, if I'm ever in that situation, I'll be able to make the choice that is not only right for me but right for my family and for me.
Inspiration can strike in some of the oddest places but it's always when I need the most. When I'm frustrated, I'm negative, I'm down on myself because I can't do everything I want to. Then a spark of inspiration pops up out of the blue.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
back at the gym...
I've been back at the gym for awhile. Both gyms. Yes, I now go to two different gyms. One is a Crossfit Box and I'm so glad to be there. The other is the gym I used for physical therapy and the pool. On a really good day, I end up at both gyms...crossfit at 5:30 AM and the other around 6 at night. Talk about stress reliever.....as crazy as it sounds, it's good for me. Not sure how I'd be managing if it weren't both gyms.
Crossfit gives me my 5:30 peeps! and my coach. ALL, incredibly important to me. I thrive on the relationships I build around me and I really have built some strong relationships through Crossfit. It also gives me a style of workout I wouldn't accomplish on my own. I feel empowered and strong after working out at crossfit. I am able to safely push my limits (with everyone keeping an eye on me and helping me when i need it). I'm able to focus all my energy and thoughts on what I am doing and why I am doing it. I have to pay attention so I don't hurt myself.
My other gym gives me the solitary time to work through whatever's on my mind and heart. I don't have to think when I'm walking the track, Jogging the track, riding a bike, swimming laps in the pool. I can let whatever has stressed me out stew while I work out and work out an answer or two or three. I focus strictly on cardio and rehab. I still take the time for PT work, slow, controlled movement. Strength and Balance. I still push myself incredibly hard and wring my clothes out after a workout but it's at a different intensity, it's more focused on the movement. I'm not looking to build relationships. I'm not looking for a group to work out with. I have that. I'm solely looking for the improvement in my quality of life and being able to work on whatever is bothering me that week.
Overall, it's a great attitude adjustment day when I work out at both gyms. I'm normally calmer and ready to face the world. I'm looking forward to this summer when I'm able to workout more consistently and I can use it to build a routine for myself. I'm looking forward to a routine this summer.
Crossfit gives me my 5:30 peeps! and my coach. ALL, incredibly important to me. I thrive on the relationships I build around me and I really have built some strong relationships through Crossfit. It also gives me a style of workout I wouldn't accomplish on my own. I feel empowered and strong after working out at crossfit. I am able to safely push my limits (with everyone keeping an eye on me and helping me when i need it). I'm able to focus all my energy and thoughts on what I am doing and why I am doing it. I have to pay attention so I don't hurt myself.
My other gym gives me the solitary time to work through whatever's on my mind and heart. I don't have to think when I'm walking the track, Jogging the track, riding a bike, swimming laps in the pool. I can let whatever has stressed me out stew while I work out and work out an answer or two or three. I focus strictly on cardio and rehab. I still take the time for PT work, slow, controlled movement. Strength and Balance. I still push myself incredibly hard and wring my clothes out after a workout but it's at a different intensity, it's more focused on the movement. I'm not looking to build relationships. I'm not looking for a group to work out with. I have that. I'm solely looking for the improvement in my quality of life and being able to work on whatever is bothering me that week.
Overall, it's a great attitude adjustment day when I work out at both gyms. I'm normally calmer and ready to face the world. I'm looking forward to this summer when I'm able to workout more consistently and I can use it to build a routine for myself. I'm looking forward to a routine this summer.
Monday, May 26, 2014
life can be chaos
That's what I've decided. Life can just be chaos. And I happen to be in the middle of it right now. A few more weeks. Then I'll get a break and hopefully things will calm down a little. There are so many things that are out of my control right now and that doesn't work the greatest for me. I don't have the patience to deal with what I can't control...however, right now, I have to deal with most things that I have no control over so it's been stressful, crazy, and just plain overwhelming.
If you know a teacher well...not just know them at school but know them outside of school, you'll know how absolutely crazy this time of year is. Have to cram and teach as much as possible, grade everything, complete report cards, complete final cumulative files, start planning for next year, order all materials for next year, clean and organize and pack the room away, all in all....just chaos. Not only do I have all that to do, I also have to plan summer school, recruit students, order all materials, cover all my bases etc. Organize the teachers, class lists, etc. Add to that list, we are in the hiring process for a new principal...yep, I'm on that too! this year just seems to be way worse than most years. I wonder how much of that is due to my recovery from massive surgery? I'm still needing a lot of sleep each night...I'm trying to work out as much as possible (trying to keep myself as sane as I am normally) and it's just nuts. Social life? seems to be nonexistent this time around. Which just frustrates me, I miss my friends. I miss my 'normal' life.
Add to the normal end of year stuff and my crazy end of year this year, I'm doing this challenge called the Whole Life Challenge. Thought it was a great idea, great group of people doing it with me, totally didn't look at the timing..... So in the midst of my craziness, I'm changing my lifestyle dramatically. How dramatically? EXTREMELY dramatically. Used to be I'd be out for dinner/drinks 4-6 nights a week.... Dinner at 9 or so, no worries. Drinks multiple nights multiple drinks. It was my life :) This challenge....cuts alcohol. I'm doing fine with that. I miss the socializing. I don't miss the alcohol as much as I thought I might. This challenge... cuts dairy. LAttes? I'm struggling with the lack of lattes. and the sitting at starbucks drinking a latte and getting work done...several times a week. (So...a benefit for my wallet...but still!) Ice cream?!? it's out the window! This challenge also has me cooking....the last time I had cooked a meal was well before surgery. Surgery was 6 months ago. WELL before surgery. Cooking for one person is not any fun. But...the best part of this challenge is that I am able to control something in my life. I'm able to control what I eat...Or what I cook. I'm in control of when I cheat and when I don't. I'm in control of when and what I do for a workout. In my life of chaos right now, control is what I need and I'm thankful for having control over something!
6 months since surgery has come and gone. 6 month appt with surgeon went well. full release. Did not release how much I was worrying about healing and recovery. Hearing the words from my surgeon, get back to living your life, don't need to see you again was a relief. A weight lifted off my shoulders that I didn't even realize was as heavy as it was. It's been an adventure these last 6 months and trust me I know, healing and recovery aren't done yet. Still a long road ahead but comforting to know that the surgeon's pleased with everything.
If you know a teacher well...not just know them at school but know them outside of school, you'll know how absolutely crazy this time of year is. Have to cram and teach as much as possible, grade everything, complete report cards, complete final cumulative files, start planning for next year, order all materials for next year, clean and organize and pack the room away, all in all....just chaos. Not only do I have all that to do, I also have to plan summer school, recruit students, order all materials, cover all my bases etc. Organize the teachers, class lists, etc. Add to that list, we are in the hiring process for a new principal...yep, I'm on that too! this year just seems to be way worse than most years. I wonder how much of that is due to my recovery from massive surgery? I'm still needing a lot of sleep each night...I'm trying to work out as much as possible (trying to keep myself as sane as I am normally) and it's just nuts. Social life? seems to be nonexistent this time around. Which just frustrates me, I miss my friends. I miss my 'normal' life.
Add to the normal end of year stuff and my crazy end of year this year, I'm doing this challenge called the Whole Life Challenge. Thought it was a great idea, great group of people doing it with me, totally didn't look at the timing..... So in the midst of my craziness, I'm changing my lifestyle dramatically. How dramatically? EXTREMELY dramatically. Used to be I'd be out for dinner/drinks 4-6 nights a week.... Dinner at 9 or so, no worries. Drinks multiple nights multiple drinks. It was my life :) This challenge....cuts alcohol. I'm doing fine with that. I miss the socializing. I don't miss the alcohol as much as I thought I might. This challenge... cuts dairy. LAttes? I'm struggling with the lack of lattes. and the sitting at starbucks drinking a latte and getting work done...several times a week. (So...a benefit for my wallet...but still!) Ice cream?!? it's out the window! This challenge also has me cooking....the last time I had cooked a meal was well before surgery. Surgery was 6 months ago. WELL before surgery. Cooking for one person is not any fun. But...the best part of this challenge is that I am able to control something in my life. I'm able to control what I eat...Or what I cook. I'm in control of when I cheat and when I don't. I'm in control of when and what I do for a workout. In my life of chaos right now, control is what I need and I'm thankful for having control over something!
6 months since surgery has come and gone. 6 month appt with surgeon went well. full release. Did not release how much I was worrying about healing and recovery. Hearing the words from my surgeon, get back to living your life, don't need to see you again was a relief. A weight lifted off my shoulders that I didn't even realize was as heavy as it was. It's been an adventure these last 6 months and trust me I know, healing and recovery aren't done yet. Still a long road ahead but comforting to know that the surgeon's pleased with everything.
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